Sleaze

Vox Pop – Sleaze

There’s no getting away from it, the first word that comes up when people discuss British politics these days is sleaze. Our leaders insist that nobody cares whether people steal a few million quid of their money from time to time, but are they right? We heroically took to the streets to ask the British …

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Hell on Earth

Hell on Earth

The UK government, faced with crippling rises in ferry fees across the river Styx, has come up with an innovative solution. Britain will become the first nation in history to privatise its Underworld operations and literally create Hell on Earth. Britain had, since time immemorial, paid a fee of two pennies per soul to Charon, …

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Where's Moggy? The great new game fom The Daily Distress, Britain's top satire website

Where’s Moggy?

Where’s Moggy? Our fantastic new competition is here! Our lord and saviour, Jacob Rees-Mogg, the right honourable something or other for the 16th Century has taken to hiding himself in the pages of The Daily Distress. He thinks that this is the last place that people will look now that hiding in a fridge has …

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Saint Jeremy Corbyn

Saint Jeremy

Various books have been removed from the Bible over the centuries for all sorts of reasons. The Protevangelion, for example, was removed because nobody was quite sure how to pronounce Protevangelion. The Book of Enoch got the chop due to a copyright dispute with the makers of Battlestar Galactica. The two Books of Maccabees were …

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Barnstoneworth Independence Party

Barnstoneworth Independence Party

Could Barnstoneworth be set to declare its independence from the UK? The Barnstoneworth Independence Party and their leader, Jack “Wolfy” Ramsbottom hope so. In an exclusive interview with The Daily Distress, Ramsbottom tells us how a dispute with the Yorkshire Cribbage League could develop into a seismic wave that will strike at the heart of …

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Brit Trek The Fedexit Years

Brit Trek – Fedexit

PREVIOUSLY ON BRIT TREK: The Spivship Enterprise crashed into a different TV franchise after Captain Berk rather foolishly allowed Ensign Schapps to have a go at navigating. Our clueless, spaffaholics are now trapped on a mysterious island in the Pacific and have even less of an idea than usual what’s going on. In the Lost …

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GB News - News for the hard of thinking

GB News Announces Schedule

It’s coming! The new, balanced news service to rival Tim Davie’s completely unbiased BBC is almost ready to launch. GB News is on its way with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but opinion. With a promise to be proudly British, wholly uncritical of the far-right and determinedly anti-woke, GB News will provide a …

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Carry on up the Poxhole - more ripping satire from the Daily Distress

Carry On Up The Poxhole

Greetings fellow patriots. Following the success of the first issue of The Poxhole, we’re back with some more highly original thoughts from anybody who’s anybody in the world of rabid, right-wing mischief-making. This week we’re opening up our platform to Peter Bitchings, a man who is so cancelled that he can barely get his ugly …

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Brit Trek – Lost and Loster

PREVIOUSLY ON BRIT TREK – LOST IN SPACE: HAVING NAIVELY TRUSTED ENSIGN SCHAPPS TO NAVIGATE, THE CREW OF THE SPIVSHIP ENTERPRISE HAVE CRASH-LANDED ON A MYSTERIOUS ISLAND. CAPTAIN BERK IS IN DIRE STRAITS HAVING DISCOVERED, AMONGST OTHER THINGS, THAT ENSIGN JENKYNS CAN’T SPELL S.O.S. AND THAT ENSIGN REDWOOD REALLY IS AS BATTY AS EVERYBODY SUSPECTED. …

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The Poxhole News Daily Distress UK Satire

The Poxhole News

Here at The Poxhole News, we cater only for true patriots. If you’re some kind of lefty, do-gooding, woke, yoghurt-knitter, sod off and read the bloody Guardian with the grown-ups. We aren’t interested in you. You must really hate our bloody country, you vile, little, communist twat. If, on the other hand, you happen to …

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Brit Trek Lost in Space Award winning satire from the Daily Distress

Brit Trek – Lost in Space

The crew of the Spivship Enterprise are on their way to Metabilis-3, or so they think. This time the Brit Trek bunch really are lost in space. Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Spivship Enterprise. Its four year mission. To gaslight new worlds. To seek out new spaffs. And destroy civilisation. …

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brexit heroes on the bog daily distress satire toilet humour

Brexit Heroes on the Bog

Brexit Heroes on the Bog: Even though the architects of our Brexit triumph might appear to be superhuman, they still need to visit the smallest-room once in a while. There’s no shame in that. Everybody in the world, apart from The Queen, has to go from time to time. Have you ever wondered what our …

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countdown susie dent and paul zenon

Countdown Conundrum – Is Channel 4 Brainwashing Our Grannies?

Countdown, Channel 4’s long-running, mid-afternoon gameshow would, at first sight, seem to be the most harmless show on television. The game, which involves solving word puzzles and doing sums, has long been seen as harmless entertainment for the old and the unemployable. But could a sinister secret be lurking behind the Countdown Conundrum? Former actor …

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the crap brexit sketch daily distress monty pythin

The Crap Brexit Sketch

With sincere apologies to Monty Python, The Daily Distress proudly presents the Crap Brexit Sketch. Please note that there is some mild swearing. [A CUSTOMER ENTERS A SHOP] Mr. Praline: ’Ello, I wish to register a complaint. [THE OWNER, WHOSE NAME IS BORIS, IGNORES HIM] Mr. Praline: ’Ello, Miss? Boris: What do you mean “Miss?” Mr. Praline: I’m sorry, …

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the apprentice political special daily distress satire

The Apprentice Political Special

For obvious reasons, the BBC was unable to make the traditional Autumn series of The Apprentice last year. Unable to afford celebrities and scared to endanger civilian lives, the nation’s broadcaster of hearts was forced to resort to having politicians as contestants. The Apprentice Political Special followed the traditional format of the show with suitably …

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abolish the driving license lance flitwitt daily distress

Libertarian Party Calls for End of Evil UK Driving License

The UK’s Auction Party which styles itself on the right-wing US Libertarian Party has called for the abolition of the British driving license. Former actor turned political activist, Lance Flitwitt tells Daily Distress readers why he believes that the driving license represents an unnecessary layer of bureaucracy. The Chase As a seventeen-year-old, my greatest ambition …

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brit trek daily distress satire

Brit Trek

UPTV (Unspeakably Poor Television) is proud to present a brand new space opera – Brit Trek! Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Spiv-ship Enterprise. Its four year mission. To create strange new worlds. To seek out new scams. And destroy civilisation. To boldly go where no bugger has been daft enough …

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daily distress exclusive government procurement plans revealed

Government Tender Plans Revealed

In a world exclusive, The Daily Distress reveals a government document laying out plans for its new tendering process. Explanatory Memorandum to Procurement and Tendering Act (2020) 2020 No: 1984 Introduction 1.1) The purpose of this document is to outline some jolly important changes to the way that the government spends the taxpayers’ hard-earned cash. …

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