Almanac gets it Wrong for 2020!

daily distress UK satire humour
The one with the mistake!

Old Foole’s Almanac has been making successful predictions about the year to come since 1682.

2020, however, has proved to be a landmark year, as the normally infallible guide to the future has finally made a mistake.

Once again, the guide anticipated a major sporting event taking place at Wembley in May. It is not the first time that the book has foreseen such an event but this time round, it simply failed to come true.

The almanac’s editor Seamus Nostromo was distraught. “I just don’t get it” he told us, “We’ve been using this one for years and it’s not let us down before. It’s always been a bit of a banker like ‘trouble in the Middle East’ and ‘major religious festival in December’. I guess our psychic simply forgot to factor in the impact of Corona virus.”

The glaring error could have major repercussions for the 2021 edition. Regular advertiser Tremaine Barnum, owner of the Penzance Pixie Company, revealed that he may have to look elsewhere. “I’ve been selling my luxury, nickel-plated, lucky Cornish pixie pendants through Old Foole’s for decades.”

“This slip-up really harms the credibility of my product. When people buy one of my charms for just £6.99 + £49.99 P&P, they fully expect it to bring health, wealth and happiness. How will they have that trust if they associate it with a publication that can’t even get the basics right?”

daily distress UK satire humour

%d bloggers like this: